You work out of a Hotel?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize