I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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