I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize