you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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