I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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