does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize