can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize