I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize