The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize