I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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