So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize