I wannas sexs uuuuu
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize