he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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