so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
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I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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