I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I am one with the molecules
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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