I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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