I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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