Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize