So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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