just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize