I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize