Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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