question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize