I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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