I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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