Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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