I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
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I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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