ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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