I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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