On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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