I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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