I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I deserve this hangover.
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