I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize