Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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