i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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