Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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