i just made my gag reflex go away.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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