I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize