do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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