My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wear drunk well.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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