I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
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Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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