Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize