My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize