My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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