You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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