Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize