I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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