You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize