i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize