They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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